I received this in my inbox today from the Daily WordPress Prompt 

You have the choice to erase one incident from your past, as though it never happened. What would you erase and why?

Thursday, July 11, 1985. Grade VII. It’s noon. The bell had rung for the Angelus prayers. We say our Hail Mary’s and sit down. I am summoned by our Headmistress, the formidable Sr. Teresa Lonan. What have I done to warrant that call? I was the ‘good girl’, after all?

She mutters just two words. ‘Go home!’ I don’t ask her why. I am too scared. Of her and why I had to go home. I step outside the school and hail a cycle rickshaw. He asks for four rupees to drop me, 4 km away. I tell him I will pay once I reach home. I have no money with me.

This is perhaps the longest journey I’ve undertaken in my life. Had something happened to Amma? No. I tried to convince myself… nothing would have happened. A 11-year-old is always optimistic… I was too. Especially when I decided to go to school that day against my Appa’s wishes because I had a Chemistry exam. And Sr. Rose was my favourite!

With every bump on the road, the pain in my mind doubled. And so did the panic. As I neared my destination, my reassurances to myself increased manifold. I berated myself for thinking too much.

The outer gate was open and so was the grilled door. My brother took one look at me… and said, ‘Amma is no more’.

And nothing was ever the same again!

Erasure… closure… is impossible. You don’t move on… You just learn to cope!


27 thoughts on “Erasure

  1. Touching, filled my eyes…I know how it feels coz I share a similar experience though at not such an early stage in life. Rushed to the hospital when she got admiited. Returned to the office to submit my leave application and handover my work, and she left me. Always wish only if Ashok and mummy were still around. Miss them too much.

  2. The still lingering pain is evident. But you need to let go the pain and truly transcend it for you own spiritual evolution and this is important. God is with you always as your eternal parent..

  3. My eyes welling profusely…..as u stated…we need to push ourselves through each event passing through us…..sometimes a gentle push..sometimes a hard one…

  4. That is such a heart breaking moment. It is difficult to cope with anything like this at any age but at the tender age of 11? it’s really sad. I’m so sorry for your loss. Love the way you finished your story.

  5. As everyone has mentioned here.. The last line is so true.. You only learn to cope.. Very touching post and I can relate to it completely..

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