# Fake niceness to an art. Smile all the time even if you are seething inside. You can practise this every morning in the mirror until you ‘get the look’.
# Praise the other person’s shoes, clothes, laptop, BlackBerry, pen holder and if you must, his hands-on approach. Gift him a coffee mug that says, “You are simply the best!”
# Always ‘be in your face’. Say things like, “What would I do without you?” and if you want to take it a little further, don’t forget to mention that he/she is an inspiration/role model especially if he/she has not done anything in life that is worth speaking about.
# Butt into conversations and speak authoritatively on subjects you have no clue of. You can do this simply by agreeing to whatever the other person says. Phrases that will come to use here: “Of course!”, “I know!”, “What a shame!” and “Oh, really!” Also, throw in a few ‘Oh, dears’ for added effect.
# Like and comment on every post of the person you are trying to butter up on Facebook. Share and tag indiscriminately.
# Perfect the art of air-kissing. Muah… Muah… Muah sure goes a long way.
# Keep tabs of the person on Twitter and don’t forget to bring his inane tweets into every conversation.
# Do random acts of brownie kindness like coaching your clients’ kids in basketball, standing in line to get tickets for your daughter’s teacher, and always be the first person to volunteer for a car pool.
# Do some name-calling. Sir and M’am in super-polite and reverential terms are highly suggested.
# Add the phrase, “Nothing is impossible” to your life dictionary. You never know when you will be asked to do what and what you will gain in return. If someone asks for the moon, say it’s possible and like the famous ad tells you to, “Just do it!”
And if all these fail, simply beg, plead and fall on your knees to get what you want J
(Don’t forget to put your sense of humour (not armour) on while reading this piece :P)