Look at me and comment? Then, you’ve had it!

For the past many months, I’m beginning to feel that people have one look at my face and feel that they can say anything they like. I’d classify this broadly into different sections. The ones in italics are how I’d like to retort! Am trying, am trying!

Weight

While I’ve been grappling with weight issues over a period of 10 years (sigh! I used to be thin once upon a time! Like in all those fairy tales!) I do not, repeat, take kindly to people commenting about it. Consider this:

# Oh! I didn’t recognise you… you’ve put on so much weight. Last year, you looked different.

Well, take a good look at yourself! You look like you came from a famine-stricken country.

# Oh, you wear a size 12? Really? I thought you were a size 14…

Oh really! Are you sponsoring my clothes?  Then I’m ready  to drop a size.

# Kaunse Chakki Ka Atta Khaate ho, yaar!

Obviously, not from yours!

Family

Yeah, everyone and their grandmothers want to know why I have only one child. Here are some of the comments I often get.

# This photographer from a rival publication whom I must have met only twice in my lifetime asks, “Why yaar, you have only one child? You people are into family planning or what?”

Well, I’d have smacked his face if not for the fact that I was at a high-profile event and I knew all the people present there. And take your yaari elsewhere, please!

#  Oh! Your child must be feeling lonely… You need two children for all the love and warmth. And it’s never too late…

Are you my resident gynaecologist? Or a family planning expert? Or a psychologist? Or my biological clock… Tell me, tell me!

The Brat

The brat’s looks gets many comments too. Actually, he looks a bit like me, a bit like my brother and has taken some characteristics from the in-laws. That makes him not look completely like me or the husband. Also, there are some constant comments regarding his studies!

Oh! Who does the brat look like? He does not look like you or your husband…

Oh, you didn’t know? We picked him up from Lulu Hypermarket! (Must admit, these lines didn’t come from me. Thanks, Deeps!)

You must tell him to study more. 94 per cent is not enough!

Oh, yeah! And then what is enough? 110 per cent? And that too in fifth grade?

Hair

I used to have long hair once upon a time (yup, my life reads like a fairytale!) that was the envy of all. Now, I have shoulder-length hair or even shorter, because I feel like it! Here’s what I hear, especially when I go to India!

You had such long hair. Why, are you trying to be modern? (random neighbours)

Yes, Yes, how did you know? I am trying to give whatever-that-star-is a run for her money! And also didn’t you know it is customary for women journalists to have short hair. Look at Barkha Dutt 🙂

(to be updated as and when I am in a ranting mood)